How to talk to your children and overcome power struggles

and strengthen your relationship with them.

Proverbs 22:6

Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not turn away from it.

Book referenced during the show:

"How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Below are some suggestions.  Not all will work with each child and each child will respond differently to each of them.  Find what works by trial and error.  What's important is that you are connecting with your child, opening up an opportunity for dialogue.  Learn to validate your child's feelings when you can and be an encourager!

To help with feelings:

1. Listen with full attention - eye contact, turn toward your child

2. Acknowledge their feelings with a word - "Oh"...."Mmm"..."I see."

3. Give their feelings a name - label the feeling for them.  Often, your child does not know what he/she is feeling.

To engage in cooperation:

1. Describe - Describe what you see, or describe the problem

2. Give information

3. Say it with a word

4. Talk about your feelings

5. Write a note

An example of engaging in cooperation using the 5 suggestions listed above.

A towel was left on your bed.

1. Describe what you see - "There's a wet towel on the bed."

2. Give information - " The towel is getting my bedspread wet."

3. Say it with a word - "The towel!"

4. Talk about your feelings - "It will be frustrating and uncomfortable for me if the bed is wet when I go to bed."

5. Write a note - (Place above the towel rack) "Please put me back so that I can dry." Thanks! Love, Your Towel

** To hear more about this and other parenting tips, listen to the show online! **